anky's posterous

I haven't updated this page for a real long time... this space is back in action!

Lets ROLL!

He was walking around restlessly, awaiting the time to leave. he did his extra bit of work out, got a new haircut, got a clean shave after almost 2 weeks. The train was late, good for him. he rushed in and waited impatiently for it to take him to his destination. 

He texted her, 'I have left, I will be there in a giffy'. The arrival was eagerly awaited by her. He reached, and walked into the mall, trying to look really nice. He found her and met her, as casually as he could. He so wanted to grab her and take her in his arms, just to tell her how much he missed her, but an infinitely small part of his brain, that was still active, restrained him from doing so. He settled for a peck on the forehead.

The day was perfect now, the world was nice again. She was wearing the long pink skirt, with her favorite top, that he loved so much. the hair was awesome and her face was glowing. Her presence spread an everlasting fragrance in the room that she walked into and even the harsh sun raise were silky with her around. 

He went shopping, trying his level best to impress her. He was trying to flex his muscle, as if he wanted to hear them talk. She noticed it, but played unaware, in her own way. She liked to see him try and enjoyed his excited face. They shopped a little, and went to eat. 

She passed a letter and things were not the same again. 

His world turned upside down. he did not know what to say or do. As planned earlier, they went for the movie. She asked him on his reaction, but he had none. He was himself pretty surprised by the same.

the movie went on and she tried to cuddle him, but he was not comfortable anymore. He tried to be as normal, as he could, but he couldn't fool anyone. Even the comfortable seat he was resting on, was aware of his restlessness. He tried to laugh at all the jokes cracked, and pay attention to every small detail. Tried real hard to talk to her in the film, but had no words. He felt like he has lost his ability to speak. The movie ended and he walked down. 

He went out, waited patiently for cab, he wanted to send her home safely. The wait was long and the silence was not helping in any way. He wanted to speak to her, he wanted to ask her, WHY... Why did that happen? What had he done wrong? Why? But he found no words. She tried to initiate the talk, she tried to make him talk. But to no avail. 

She knew there was something wrong and did not know how to react. She knew things have changed somewhere and that they may probably never be the same again, but nothing could be undone any more. Even the though of the ultimate, gave her the worst of nightmares. She wanted to run to him, tell him how sorry she was and how it was just one mistake, but she couldn't. Even the long wait for the cab was not enough time for her to muster her courage to try anything.

The cab came and she sat quietly, not daring to turn back and say bye, was this the last encounter?

He walked.... walked on the endless road.. not knowing where to go. Just the imagination of that moment, that mistake made his heart weep. He wanted to let it be, let it go. Forget it. But....

What now? What next... he had no answers. As he reached home... his heart was low and he had no hope. The day of hope and anxiety led to a long, dark and dreaded night. 

His world was coming crashing down in his heart....

On my dreaming bed

I once saw a fairy tale

It had all I ever wanted

and nothing was to turn pale

You were dressed as the princess

in a long flowing pink dress

waiting for your prince charming

I saw you in my perfect world

and I needed no more to be told

happiness just seem to be around flowing

I displayed courage and invited you

to share the small beautiful world

You saw me and made me wait

for what seemed an eternity

I was restless and the ache was strong

i wanted you to come along,

so kept pegging on

You finally took the step

leaving your heaven

Walked into my life and

i was now awake

You were standing there

and I thought I fell back

But even the pinch was real and

my fairy tale was true...

The dream had ended

and another began

If only I had eyes, that saw the future,

I would have long avoided this pain 

If only I had the heart, to bear it all

I would never have complained 

If only I did not have the courage, to say

Time would have written a different story 

If only our eyes would have never met, like they did

Rescue efforts would not have been in vain. 

Run, Run away... may be that will solve things

Run, Run away, and the climax will only be delayed.

After getting wet in some chilly winter rains, I was sitting in my warm and comfortable guest house, sipping hot ‘Adrak ki Chai’ and surfing channels. In the process I came across, ‘Aaj Tak’, that boast about being the best News channel in the country, I put my remote at rest as it was running a story on Indian cricket. I enjoy watching reports in media, when they hail our cricketers the best in the world and change their opinion after the tournament, mind you with a great dramatic effect.

But this time it was different! They were not scrutinizing the players, but raising a very important social issue within the country! They were questioning, why is it that there is no ‘Dalit’ in the Indian cricket team!’

I felt a warm gratitude to the producers of the show, who very painstakingly looked up for data, dating back to 1929, when a Dalit was made the captain of a club team, and how even after so many years, there has been no change in the Indian caste system! What I would like to know is, where did this caste system begin?

I want to ask them a simple question, aren’t there enough problems in the country to draw the public attention to? There are floods; there is Chinese conspiracy, the cross border terrorism and the in-house naxals to worry about. Why do you build a story that will do nothing but, give the political leaders like Mayawati and the likes, another point to bully the government or for that matter BCCI (believe me they can very well do that)!

There will be another morcha and another few hundred thousands will loose a days salary and will listen to never concluding debates. There is enough time being wasted in our two houses on dismal issues, please don’t build any!

The idea of reservation, was to help them come up, give them privileges for a short amount of time, so that they can rebuild and regroup themselves. But instead of adding that, we are feeding them wit more comforts each day and winning elections to eat public wealth. Please correct me if I am wrong.

The idea is to remove these castes and walk as a nation, not to have reservations and increase the divide!

Anyways, coming back to the best news channel in the country, what are you suggesting that we have a reservation there? Do we have a dalit or someone from the backward classes as captain, and not on merit?

If you look at the figures in out IIT’s the number of students entering the course and then the numbers subsequently graduating is different. Any idea why? Well the students that enter an IIT, through various caste reservations, are unable to cope up with the studies and then subsequently drop out from the course! This means, that those seats through which another deserving candidate could have made a career for himself is wasted!

It is my earnest request to the media channels in the country that respect the position of being one of the pillars of the Indian constitution, help build a unified nation, not a divided state!

The pouring sky, with the glittering smile,

Smoky weather, with clouds in pile

Shivering winds, that hits the face

Everything down here is in a snail’s pace!

Up above, a million mile

To what that seems a glittering smile

A war is on, army of snowy face

Fighting for supremacy, within the race!

The shining god, of light, so loving

Over shadowed by the cotton balls sparking

Watches the clash,

He knows it will all be over in a splash!

O Yee God of light,

Spread some joy,

Please stop the flight

Let there be a sky apt for a kite!

Enough worries here down below

Rivers with blood of friends turned foe’s

Let there be some of your light
on us so low!

Please please stop the fight!

With your glow!

Revolution: a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something: a change of paradigm

A revolutionary is a person who either actively participates in, or advocates revolution

There are a lot of things in this world that are perfect. They must be just as they need to be. We are so happy for the same that we believe that it must never change. But what we forget is that there is something that will always happen. The wheels of time will keep moving; keep the endless journey on, in search of nothing but contradictions and complete disregard. It’s nothing but the revolution.

The wheel of time is what brings us to the point of it being a revolution. Whether it is any of the political, social or cultural revolution, they have all taken place in striking similarities. I have come to believe its more like fashion. Yes, as absurd as it may sound, I completely believe in the same.

There is a time, when we believed that 1 man or 1 family had the divine right to rule and protect. Then came the time that a few thought it was their moral duty to rule the underprivileged nations and exploit them. Then came a time when the maximum number of revolutions happened. It was the time when the world fought to be independent and empowered to design their path to their own doom. And they got it. Some did it peacefully, some with blood on their hands, but they all got what they wanted.

The interesting fact is that they all fought for the greater good and ended up making the most for themselves. Technically, probably more for their families. The kings were now replaced by social order and a hope of choice.

With time to come, things are fast changing, but now we are running into revolutions everyday. Instead of a full scale mass movement, it’s more like movements in pockets.

What is the reason for this? Why is it that we are no longer interested in this? Although we talk a lot, we crib a lot, we voice our opinion, but why not a revolution? Or is this the revolution in itself? Is in that the definition of a revolution itself has to be reframed?

Do we need a Mass Revolution? Social, Cultural or even Political?

I was sitting in my lonely room thinking of doing something or just go on and sleep, just then the phone rang. It was an unknown number and in an instant I knew who it would be. It was her, the same girl who was so close not so long a ago. All of a sudden the boundaries grew and here we were.

As I took the call, I knew what was going to great me and I was correct. She was on the other side talking in her cheerful voice, I was happy. I was happy that at least she cared. She cared to call as she had promised. It was almost sympathetic in her approach, but I was happy. Then I realized how come she is calling now? It is supposed to be early morning there! I asked her, where was she and she replied at the airport!

‘What are you doing at the airport?’ I asked, still baffled. ‘I am going to ________, he lives there!’ ‘I don’t think I told you, but I and ______ got back together! I knew it would happen someday, but so soon, I was not sure. I have a week off so I am traveling to meet him.’ she said. The rest of the conversation was more of a filler at least for me, and as I believe it, even for her.

I don’t know why, but I feel bad, feel lost. It was all so logical and I had taken the step. But it still stings, the fangs of the past still hurt and they poison my present and probably my future and there is no cure I am aware of for the same. She prayed and begged, but I was adamant. It was the right thing to do. But then, why can’t I be happy for her? She has finally moved on, she has found someone. Although it’s a compromise as I would like to see it, but for her it’s the world. I call myself a friend, but why am I unhappy about it?

I definitely know, it is not her fault and I also know things will not happen, but why is it that I feel the pain? I don’t expect anything from her, but I still am silent after speaking to her.

I know that the call was not just like that; it was meant to pass the message. A message that said, ‘No matter what you think, no matter what you did, I have moved on and I want you to know, you no longer hold a place’. As I hate to say this, the message was well conveyed. I am happy for her.

Lost in this whirlpool of thoughts, I pray and ask for forgiveness.  Not from the Gods, not from the world, but from her.

On this extended weekend, I was in Bareilly (UP, India). During my visit, I was staying at one of the family friend’s house. It was great being there as they embraced my company with open arms. During the course of the conversation, we landed on the point about today’s generation. How they don’t want to be a part of the family business, be at home, expand the business. He went on to say that the youth these days are out there to prove their competence to the world, but won’t stand up to support the family business.

In my attempt to defend my generation, I told him that ideals have not changed, the idea still remains that we work as hard as possible as much as we can and get the best for the family. Come to a point in our professional lives that we tell our fathers to relax, sit back in his comfort chair and spend some peaceful time. Take all the tensions and worries from his shoulders and relieve him, to do things he always wanted to do, but never ad time for the same.

Slowly the conversation like all dialogues, drifted away and I was left thinking, could that be a fact? Are we out there to do things our way and are actually ashamed of getting into the family business?

My father owns a saree shop, but he never asked me to get into the same. He never told me to learn about the cloth or the patterns or the latest trends. But is it that he secretly wanted me to join him, wanted me to take it ahead, to a new level. But then what about me? What about things that I want to do? What about my way of life? And just as I was still arguing on the same thoughts in my mind, the conversation went back to the old topic and the uncle who was leading the argument for the older generation, gave a killer line, ‘To keep the brightness in the house, one candle has to burn itself.’ I did not speak after that. I for the moment accepted the defeat and went into the contemplation mode.

What do you have to say on this? Are we running away?

I was a firm believer of the fact that, Bollywood should now move on to make some more intelligent movies, and Kaminey did fit into that frame (Although the end was mighty disappointing). But what I saw yesterday was a pure pleasure.

I went to a rickety theatre in Rudrapur yesterday to see the Salman Khan starrer, ‘Wanted’, and all I can say is ‘Wow’! The film was a pure treat. With incredible action sequences, a stereotypical villain and an omnipresent hero, who claims his talent is to beat people up.

The film is a pure masala, with something in it for everyone; it has got awesome music, an item number, the lime of comedy and amazing fight sequences. They may not be as a smart as the matrix, but the definitely are a perfect balance between expectable bollywood limits and the Rajnikant signature moves and the flying stunts.

The sound mix and the editing could have been much better, but the films excellent flow, just erases all those defects from your mind. From time to time you brake into claps and loud laughters in the theatre, even though you realize its foolish, but you still do it because it really deserves the same.

There is nothing new in the story line. An undercover cop, son of a retired police office, a villain settled abroad, a beautiful girl being troubled by policemen and the mob alike, the sudden song and dance breaks, in all a wonderful film.

Director Prabhudeva, must be given full marks for his efforts of making a scene by scen replica of the Tollywood version, but even then it was good. The dances were all wonderful and very entertaining.

I take my words back. There is a reason why these films work in India and that is because, it is a mass media and the audience does not constitute of the international film festival followers and self proclaimed intelligent audience. It consists of people from all categories who watch a movie to unwind themselves.

I would give a 3.5 stars to Prabhudeva’s ‘Wanted’! Go watch it, you will come back with a smile.

P.S.: I Love this line.... 'Ek baar maine commitment kardi, toh main khudki bhi nahin sunta' .. Wah ... Wah... :)