Forgiveness
I was sitting in my lonely room thinking of doing something or just go on and sleep, just then the phone rang. It was an unknown number and in an instant I knew who it would be. It was her, the same girl who was so close not so long a ago. All of a sudden the boundaries grew and here we were.
As I took the call, I knew what was going to great me and I was correct. She was on the other side talking in her cheerful voice, I was happy. I was happy that at least she cared. She cared to call as she had promised. It was almost sympathetic in her approach, but I was happy. Then I realized how come she is calling now? It is supposed to be early morning there! I asked her, where was she and she replied at the airport!
‘What are you doing at the airport?’ I asked, still baffled. ‘I am going to ________, he lives there!’ ‘I don’t think I told you, but I and ______ got back together! I knew it would happen someday, but so soon, I was not sure. I have a week off so I am traveling to meet him.’ she said. The rest of the conversation was more of a filler at least for me, and as I believe it, even for her.
I don’t know why, but I feel bad, feel lost. It was all so logical and I had taken the step. But it still stings, the fangs of the past still hurt and they poison my present and probably my future and there is no cure I am aware of for the same. She prayed and begged, but I was adamant. It was the right thing to do. But then, why can’t I be happy for her? She has finally moved on, she has found someone. Although it’s a compromise as I would like to see it, but for her it’s the world. I call myself a friend, but why am I unhappy about it?
I definitely know, it is not her fault and I also know things will not happen, but why is it that I feel the pain? I don’t expect anything from her, but I still am silent after speaking to her.
I know that the call was not just like that; it was meant to pass the message. A message that said, ‘No matter what you think, no matter what you did, I have moved on and I want you to know, you no longer hold a place’. As I hate to say this, the message was well conveyed. I am happy for her.
Lost in this whirlpool of thoughts, I pray and ask for forgiveness. Not from the Gods, not from the world, but from her.
